width=61 height=87> Voracious Verses



Ricky Garni

When the World Seems a Little Gloomy

When the world seems a little gloomy, I try to picture Rachmaninoff, 
not playing his Third Piano Concerto to a feverish international acclaim, 
but instead trying to cross the street, bent over a little bit with an aching 
back and saying ďEh?Ē when someone riding a wicked fast horse yells 
ďWatch out, grandpa!Ē and then because he doesnít watch out the horse 
plows into him and knocks him on his rump and it smarts.

Even though this never happened, it does for me, and quite often, too. 
Usually before I fall in love, or before I fall in love with a catchy tune, 
or fall down, a little pretentiously, as though I were Rachmaninoff.

© 2008 Ricky Garni

I Like My New Job

Someday I will be a sweaty old fat man with my big olí pants hiked up to here
and wearing suspenders with little stars on them and saying things like Ďhokumí
and winking at the young lady cashiers who smile because I am so harmless. 
While they turn their backs to me and whisper to each other and giggle, 
I steal a big handful of candy and put it in my big olí pants hiked up to here.   

© 2008 Ricky Garni


I watched Daredevil pull a tooth out of his mouth with a pair of pliers because he had been in a fight and I suppose the tooth was damaged beyond repair at that point and I thought that this might inspire me to pull a tooth out of my own mouth I am thinking of one tooth specifically that is causing me a great deal of grief so much in fact that I donít even like jumping up and down anymore like when Trudy said Guess what I got accepted at Harvard and all I could do was say Thatís great and she said Then why arenít you jumping up and down and I didnít want to explain about that one tooth in particular because it would distract from the conversation about getting into Harvard and I really would have preferred to just pull it out right there with a pair of pliers and then jump up and down and say Wow thatís great you got into Harvard and Trudy would say I canít believe that you just did that thing with the pliers that was so manly itís something that even Daredevil wouldnít do and heís a daredevil but then I would have to tell Trudy the truth No Daredevil would do it but he wouldnít do it in front of anybody he would do it in his secret HQ with the light off and with no one around you see superheroes have no friends even though they are brave and handsome and interesting because they canít bear the idea of putting their loved ones or business associates or dentists or anybody in jeopardy and so they pull their own teeth out in the dark with no one there to say gee thatís manly No Trudy their lives are so dark and they are so alone so isolated so unloved But Trudy said I hope thatís not you Trudy said Is that you Guess what Trudy said Iím pregnant

© 2008 Ricky Garni

About the Poet:

Ricky Garni is a writer and illustrator living in Carrboro, North Carolina. His most recent publications include TAJ MAHAL REVIEW, IOTA, GHOTI, UNPLEASANT EVENT SCHEDULE, DMK REVIEW and OPIUM MAGAZINE. Recently when he went to the dentist, the dentist said, "Whoa Doggie!" when Mr. Garni opened his mouth. Dentists in the South often say "Whoa Doggie" when their patients open their mouths.